Control and Influence
An outcome is a product of our efforts against things out of our control. Is the desired outcome guaranteed? No, but you can influence its probability by dialing up and down your effort. The degree to which you think you can influence the outcome is your ‘locus of control’.
Some things in life are quite out of our control - e.g., a natural calamity, an accident, or a war. There are others that are closer to our specific situation yet out of our control - e.g., job loss, catching a cold, or a brand new car that starts giving trouble. However, we often equate the lack of control with our inability to influence them. We then focus on our lack of control because we are overwhelmed by the challenges it poses and our struggles to overcome those challenges. The narrative ends up being an all-or-none situation - If we don’t have complete control, we don’t have any control. However, in between these extremes lies the reality of influence.
Some examples
Your decision to eat a cake - You can control
Your teenage child’s decision to eat a cake - You can influence
Getting up in the morning to exercise - You can control
Your boss setting up early morning meetings - You can influence
The topic of influence versus control often comes up when I coach leaders. There is usually a perceived need for control to get things done but leaders realize through the coaching process that influence is what would make them effective leaders.
Organizations, where leaders operate through control, could experience micro-management, trickle-down policies, and burnouts. Organizations, where influence is exhibited by leaders, experience creativity, and better skills distribution, are able to be nimble and able to put the team before the individuals. Can you lead with influence versus control? Leaders who influence rally their team behind them while those who lead with control force decisions down to the team.
Next time you feel frustrated that you cannot control something, ask if you have done enough to influence it.